My favourite gesture is when a lad kisses me behind the lugholes. It is bleedin' intimate and cute. Makes a bint have butterflies in her stomach. I just want a man who will do that to me and more. All I have at the moment is my hotdog pillow.

If you could ask me one question about myself, what would it be? Sorry. I don't know how to write a proper profile, so I'll just answer your question as honestly as I can. Don't hesitate to ask me anything. I think it is better to do this than waste ...

I refer to myself as an academic, I love learning as much as I love teaching. A few people have called me prude, which I find a bit of an exaggeration. I fancy intellectual banters, testing our wits for compatibility is my form of foreplay.

Every one of us had our first experiences. Some went well, others didn't. I'm optimistic that mine would be the unexpected one where I'd ask a bloke to keep screwing and drilling. It's a thrilling escapade where I'd be so aroused and breathing heavil...

My humour is starting to become as dry as my cunt. It's been a long time since I fucked a man who can make me laugh. I know that these two things may appear to be worlds apart from each other. However, happiness and satisfaction come hand-in-hand. I ...

Whenever a lad hits up on me and asks me where I came from, I always tell them I came from a floating island in Gulliver's Travels. They laugh. Those little bastards don't know it's Laputa. Guess I'll have to change my address, whaddya think?